Jo Z Pierce

Just a little commentary on Garak/Bashir, and what we fanfic writers do to pass the time...

Garak and Bashir:
A Slash Pairing Explained in Limerick Form

by Jo Z. Pierce

There once was a tailor in Deep Space
Just one Cardi seemed real out of place.
"I'm simple and plain!"
He said, once again
He'd lie with a smile on his face.

A lonely Cardassian spy
Just watching his life pass him by
Trapped on that damn station
A new revelation!
"A playmate? It's sure worth a try..."

He spotted him there with his lunch
That spy had quite the strange hunch
"Yes, he will do fine
To pass my spare time!
And yummy! I like him a bunch!"

There once was a doctor named Bashir
Now lunching with a friend he held dear
'Til one private party
With that lonely Cardi
Now writers all cast him as Queer

You know the two odd friends and lunchmates?
Who spent all their Tuesdays on man-dates?
"There's nothing between us!"
"Oh no! Think they've seen us?"
"I bet they'll write us as bunkmates."

It started out quick as a flash
That Bashir and Garak ManSlash
Their cool innuendo
Let's see how far they go!
Just who thought of writing this trash!?

Then Paramount learned of this pairing
Only then did they start caring!
"Maybe all those scenes,
And winks in betweens
Are somehow just a bit too daring."

"We'd better get Garak a girl date."
"But who?" "Maybe someone that he'd hate?"
"Maybe Dukat's daughter?"
"You think?" "Well, he oughtta!"
"Ok, let's wipe Garak a clean slate."

But the slash, it only continued
The doctor and tailor were all nude
Throughout the net
Those boys were not het!
And boy! Those slash fics were damn crude!

So writers please let it be known
Pairings will get lives of their own!
Unlikely soulmates
Shouldn't go on man-dates!
As Garak and Bashir have shown.